“When misunderstandings occur,” I’ve often reflected after a crucial conversation at work or home, “it’s often because we failed to communicate, to lay bare our thinking–or lack of it–and the stories we told ourselves that resulted in the tumult of emotion that overcomes us.” That’s why, before I lose my temper, I ask myself, “What story did you tell yourself about this situation that resulted in the feelings you are starting to experience?”
When I forget to ask that question, when I “rush to judgement,” I can easily find myself in an uncomfortable situation where I’ve made assumptions, often incorrect, about others.
Dialogue remains a choice, a willingness to engage in a conversation that allows us to unveil our inner thoughts and feelings, to begin a common journey of understanding, a mission focused on negotiating the treacherous assumptions human beings make.
Imagine if we were to simply have access to other’s thoughts, emotions, their private spaces where they develop their thinking before it manifests as reason. Or worse, the raw communications that make reason possible, a series of premises upon which logic may be found upon.
Far better to engage in dialogue, to let others know what the facts are before they come up with their own story.
Check out Miguel’s Workshop Materials online at http://mglearns.wikispaces.com